The Beauty of Having a Space Where Everything Stops: Drag Kinging with Dirty Damo

📷: Ash Carey @ashcareyphoto {Image description: Dirty Damo is wear a blue flannelette shirt and a truckers cap over his blonde mullet. He is looking over his shoulder and winking at the camera. In the background there are a group of people and trans/pride flags visible}

We had the joy of discovering Dirty Damo (he/him) at the Judy’s Tasmania Drag Ball in 2024. Jack Harlow’s ‘Lovin On Me’ was blaring as Damo swaggered onto the stage in a blue tracksuit, sporting a blonde mullet and unapologetic smirk, whipping a bowl of cream and pulling a bottle of vanilla essence out of his pants. This was drag, but not as mainstream audiences might know it. Funny, sexy and oozing chaotic masculinity, Damo’s performance was both absurd and magnetic. In an era where drag is often equated with the polished queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race, seeing a drag king take up space with such confidence and charisma was refreshing.

Behind Dirty Damo is Soph Keegan (she/they), who stepped into the world of drag through the locally run TasPride Artfully Queer Drag Workshop in 2021, facilitated by Phoebe Adams and Andrew Michael. After Phoebe introduced Soph to fellow artists, Shan Hooper and Jo Gwatking, the group formed a drag king boy band. The Back Door Boyz – comprising Keegan’s ‘Dirty Damo’, Adams’ ‘Barry Bothways’, Hooper’s ‘Gary Snow’ and Gwatking’s ‘Dick Swagger’ – became not just an act but a statement: drag kings are here and they are undeniable.

Soph’s journey hasn’t been without its challenges. In 2023, she experienced a significant mental health crisis and found herself withdrawing from those closest to her, including her Back Door Boyz family, as she navigated the complexities of her mental health. During this time, Soph reshaped not only her understanding of herself but also the role Dirty Damo plays in her life, helping her reconcile her complicated relationship with gender – something made even more poignant by her role as a single mother to a young son, Cairo.

Soph has now stepped into a new role, returning to the TasPride Artfully Queer Drag Workshop in 2024 as a mentor for emerging drag artists. We are so grateful she shared her journey with us here – speaking candidly about Dirty Damo’s evolution, the catharsis of embodying hypermasculinity, the power of queer mentorship, and how drag became a gateway to her own understanding of queerness.

📷: Bob Linacre {Image description: Dirty Damo is reclining on a couch that is draped in maroon velvet, with his hands behind his head, dressed in black shirts, a checked shirt, cap and cheeky smile}

On the Essence of Dirty Damo

Damo is hypermasculine and very crude, very sexual, very in your face. And people love it. I didn't expect it at all. People are attracted to him, especially “straight” women, coming up to him and talking and sexy dancing with him. Every time I’m like, what is going on? I am trying to be as vulgar and disgusting as possible and you're wanting to get freaky with me... What?

It made me question... What is wrong with society? But I've discussed this with the [Back Door] Boyz – it's probably that people recognise the representation of masculinity but as we are “women” they don’t feel threatened by us. Sometimes it becomes a place where people can explore and be playful without the fear of personal boundaries being broken. Ironically, it is often us that get touched by the crowd in unwanted ways.

On Feeling Shame the First Time in Drag Makeup

It taps into a deep-seated homophobia that I have, and I grew up with. Whenever I used to dress "masc" as a kid, my parents would get me to change and give me some kind of energy like, 'Oh my god, what are you doing?' I used to really enjoy wearing my dad's leather jacket and my mum had this little short wig that I liked to wear but I couldn't do that around them. My mum and my nan were very Catholic, so I grew up with those values. I remember there were often these homophobic remarks – you see a butch looking woman, 'Oh, she just wants to be a man', or if there was ever same-sex couples kissing on TV it would be, 'Ugh turn this off'.

I remember when I was about nine years old, I had this realisation of, 'Oh, I really hope I'm not gay'. There was this worry in me, that that would be such an awful thing and I didn't want that. I realised I was different when I was about 12 and as I went through high school, I knew I liked women but I still dated boys. I always knew I wanted a family and I’ve realised as I've gotten older, that I didn't think it was an option to have that with a woman. I always knew that that was going to be a part of my life, I was always going to like women but it was never going to be a serious thing. So, when I started doing drag and there was this community – all these people who were happy and normal and also had families and they were queer or were in same-sex relationships – I realised that I was gay through being in that community and just feeling so ‘me’ and so safe and that's something I hadn't ever really felt before. It's funny how being somebody else and dressing up as somebody else made me feel more comfortable and helped me find my people and settle into a community.

On the Artfully Queer Drag Workshop and Parents’ Reactions

📷: Millie Crouch @millie.crouch {Image description: Dirty Damo is performing in a pale blue tracksuit and truckers cap worn over his blonde mullet. He has a can of whipped cream and is squirting it on the chest of an audience member who is holding their shirt open}

I'd gone to queer events before but I hadn't created much of a community. I’d always been in open relationships and that allowed me to explore my sexuality.  I saw the drag workshop pop up, it was really cheap and it just really random. There was a girl I was seeing at the time and I said, ‘We should go along to that workshop’. When I was a kid I wanted to be an actor and drag felt like a similar vibe – which it kind of is, but maybe more of an embodiment, more of a political thing. So, I did the workshop, I didn't really know what would come of it but it was really fun.

I told my mum after the first week, because there was a performance we were going to do at the end of the three weeks, which was terrifying. My mum helped me with a prop and she knew I was doing a drag workshop, but I don't think she had the context that it was a queer community thing. I don’t think it had sunk in for her that I was dressing up as a dude and putting on a show – and why I was making some blue balls out of paper mâché.

My dad is not religious, but has quite conservative old-fashioned values. The drag workshop showcase was filmed and I eventually I showed it to my parents. Mum saw it first and then we were like, ‘Oh, let's show Dad’ – I did not know what to expect, but he laughed the whole way through. I had no idea how my parents would react, but it was overall really positive – maybe because it's a performance and it's not real. It's strange that was so positive because shortly after that I got into my first long-term relationship with a woman and that brought on some tricky things.

On the Interrelationship Between Soph and Damo

Damo started off being a cathartic expression of toxic masculinity. That first-ever performance, I thought about a lot of toxic things I have witnessed by men throughout my life and how I could use it through performance. Actually, Damo’s first outfit was a collection of things from men in my life. My cap was my dad’s. My flannie was my partner’s at the time. I had these sunnies on, which were an ex-boyfriend's. I had some pubes (not real pubes) on the blue balls, that were actually the hair from my son’s dad. I do have some really beautiful men in my life but there was a part of me that needed to let go of some demons.

All of these things about Damo, even if initially they felt like they were fictional, they are within me – parts of me I've suppressed that through drag I can bring out and exaggerate. Damo is an exaggerated element of me and I think it's something we all have when we play with gender. It's going to be different for everyone, but that's the difference between having a character and having an alter ego. Damo, for me, is an alter ego. He's a bit of a crutch, especially with certain groups of people, like hetero men. I’ve had to diffuse some situations before and Damo is excellent for that – especially if they’ve got their beer goggles on, they don't always know I'm in drag.

There's a type of therapy – Internal Family Systems – where you acknowledge that there are all these different parts of you: so if you're feeling anxious, there's an anxious part of you, if you feel scared, there's a scared part of you and they all have a role. I know, through therapy I've done, I have a part of me that shuts down to protect me. So I think Damo is that for me, he is a part of me and he's useful in lots of different ways. He is there to protect me and to bring me out of my shell. I think a lot of people who are raised as women, we're taught to be small and to not take up space and to not speak up. What I've learned through drag and talking to Phoebe is that masculinity is taking up space. It's being loud and heard. Exaggerated and seen. It’s being understated and unapologetic. Having that pendulum go all the way, the other way, it can help me find that middle ground.

Now as Soph, I naturally have found that I walk taller and confidently take up more space. If I'm walking along the gauntlet at Salamanca and there's a group of boys coming my way, I'm not going to get out of the way, I’m going to hold my space, because why should I get out of the way? There are quite a few arrogant men who come to my work and because I appear to be a cis woman, I am in a position where they will treat me differently. Damo helps me to step into my power and match their energy – it’s so subtle and they don’t expect it.

On Sexism in the Drag Scene

The Backdoor Boys 📷: Ash Carey @ashcareyphoto {Image description: Damo is wearing a black Backdoor Boyz tshirt and truckers cap and is smiling at the camera. To the left, the back of Barry Bothways is visible, wearing a high-vis vest. To the right is Gary Snow wearing a sleeveless blue checked shirt, truckers cap and making a growling expression}

Initially, I struggled with feeling like there was a bias towards queens. One time in particular, I was really upset about not getting booked for a certain event – I was told I would be and then the line-up went out and it was all queens. I spoke to Phoebe about it and was like, 'I guess that is the way it is'. They were like, 'Well, no, it's just sexism'. You spend all this time getting ready to become men and you're still not good enough, you still have to compete with them. It has been difficult but, on the flip side, it also means you're unique. In most places now they're going to try to choose a drag king – there's fewer drag kings in Tasmania than there are drag queens – so I think it's plays in our favour.

Also there are performative differences, which is why I'm trying to do more dance because the queens are quite good at dancing and have these beautiful, elaborate costumes and most of the kings in Hobart are not like that – it's more comedic and poking fun at things. So I guess for certain events, they want to have a show to impress people when certain people, like the audience who are used to watching Drag Race, might not like the style of drag kings.

When I think about the gender-bending thing – I think this is the autistic part of my brain, talking quite binary – men get away with doing less, whereas women need to do more. Women need to do their hair and their makeup and have a new outfit every time you go to an event, whereas men can just wear the same thing and not have to do a lot. I think that's what I enjoy about drag kinging, it's less effort because that's what's expected anyway.

On the ‘Nitty Gritty’ of Mental Health

📷: Ash Carey @ashcareyphoto {Image description: Damo is onstage in a brown and white checked shirt and cap – holding a corded telephone and a joint. He is holding the receiver to his ear and has a very shocked expression on his face}

I'm very passionate about mental health – I have a lived experience and struggle with my mental health. I used to perform with The Back Door Boyz and part of the reason I'm not performing with them, at this stage, is because I had a breakdown last year and ended up in hospital for seven weeks. My mental health made me push people away and left me picking up the pieces afterwards. So I guess I’m still now trying to create that bond again with the boys.

My friends knew I wasn't okay because we were asked to perform at the Queen's Ball last year. I said I didn't want to do it and they know how much I love performing, I live for it, so they were like, 'There's something really wrong, what’s going on?' That's what made them realise I wasn't okay. Shan does have a bit of a big sister energy with me which is useful. When I was unwell she was really like, 'Soph, you need to go and do this'. She was very hard on me but I needed it at the time and that part of her is very useful, it gets shit done.

Those seven weeks saved my life. I was living in New Norfolk at the time and had a housemate (Lana Blu) who is a nurse and was never home. I needed eyes on me essentially, and I needed to have actual proper help. Right before my breakdown, I started this medication and had a really bad reaction to it. I was completely numbed out of any feelings and felt paranoid by my own mind. I ended up developing OCD in the form of intrusive thoughts. I got stuck in this loop of thinking about hurting myself and about taking my life - it was a constant thing I could not shake for months. Eventually I went to Peacock House [an in-patient mental health facility], recommended by my psychiatrist. They probably let me go home too early because after that I had another episode and went to the Royal [Hobart Hospital]. There's a purpose for those places and I can appreciate, in a weird way, the beauty of having a space where everything stops.

When I was 19, I got diagnosed with BPD [Borderline Personality Disorder] – awful, awful, hated that, still hate that diagnosis. I thought I'd done the work and come out the other end of it, but last year they gave me that label again. I can argue that it's a label they give people, often women in hospital, when you're in the "too hard basket". And this is before I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum and later discovered that a lot of people who are diagnosed with BPD have the combo of being neurodivergent and having complex post-traumatic stress and I have both of those.

My CPTSD has to do with sexual trauma and I think I've really struggled with the masculine and so Damo is that protective part of me. Discovering Damo has done two things. He’s allowed me to be in a space amongst other men and feel protected and feel like an equal. He’s also helped me come to terms with masculinity by embodying that rather than pushing it away. Having Cairo, as well, I’ve realised there’s this pressure I have – I’ve had such a struggle with men, with my own father and with experiences I've had, and then the universe has given me a little boy. Now, I’m having to face that and look at all the different sides of masculinity and I think Damo and studying gender has been very useful for bringing out the light and dark sides of masculinity.

This year, I actually did a DBT [Dialectical Behaviour Therapy] group therapy course and that was great. I am medicated but you can't just rely on medication, there has to be other things. Being in hospital definitely taught me how much I value my freedom. When I went to Colombia – their national bird is a condor and it represents freedom – I got this (shows tattoo on their leg). It became something that was very important to me, my freedom. In hospital, I had a lot of my things taken away. I couldn't leave. I couldn't even put fucking deodorant on without having someone watch me. I had to go and brush my hair out in the hallway. So being able to have that freedom back is really nice.

But when you struggle with your mental health, it's not a matter of, ‘you go away and come back and everything's back to normal’ – it's a real journey and I think I expected things to be as they were. I've accepted things now, but in the early days, when I came back [from hospital], I felt like people were looking at me differently and didn't want to push me in case I had another breakdown. I hate feeling like I’m being treated like a baby and I know that’s not the case, but I don’t want to be treated like I’m fragile.

On Drag and Parenting

📷: Millie Crouch @millie.crouch {Image description: Dirty Damo is dressed in a pale blue tracksuit, wearing a truckers cap over his blonde mullet. He's licking whipped cream from a whisk and looking at the camera with a lascivious expression}

Cairo thinks Damo is very funny, but he also says to me now, if I'm in drag, ‘No, no, no. That’s not Damo, that's Mummy dressed up as Damo’. But he's a trooper, he knows that’s a part of my life. I think it's cool too... he's at school, he's got long hair, so he often gets mistaken for being a girl. And he started doing this thing where he would pretend that he's a boy, and then pretend that he's a girl and just be like, ‘Oh, I'm a girl now, oh, I'm a boy now’.

The other day, he went and looked for something and couldn't find it and my Mum did the whole, ‘Now did you have a boy look or a girl look?’ So now if he can't find something he'll be like, ‘I'm a girl, I'll go have a look’. I guess with gender, I want to keep that dialogue open, ready to have any conversations with him, which is part of the reason I wanted to have a gender-neutral name.

On Mental Health in the Drag Scene

It's something that we [drag artists] don't talk about much but I do talk to Gary and Barry about it regularly. We make sure to check in with each other after a big gig because you have such a massive high and it's addictive. You have this enormous high, but there are these lows that come from it, especially if you're staying up late, you’re partying, you’re talking to lots of people. For neurodivergent people too, there's a lot of masking involved, so it drains your batteries even more.

I really love having a meal with people afterwards if we're not staying up all night. Sometimes giving yourself a curfew is quite helpful. Making sure you don't drink too much. I enjoy being able to spend time in the green room because I get so overstimulated talking to people. When you're in character, people expect you to always be high energy. So if you're having a shit day or a shit week and then you go to perform, everyone's like, ‘Damo! How you going mate? Cobber!’ and they're touching you. So many people want to see what's down our pants as well. It can be a lot. I guess you can choose to either dissociate a bit or you can actually hold your boundaries and call them out, ‘Hey, that's my genitals you're touching, actually...’

I feel so much more confident being in those kind of scenarios as Damo, because he helps me hide away. I love being out and I love dancing. One of my core values is connection, so being able to go out and just talk to people and get to know people, I live for that. But sometimes it’s so much easier to be amongst it when I'm someone else. It can be such a blessing to put on a mask and be in a crowd and be present but have someone else guiding you through that.

Advice for Anyone Thinking About Starting Drag

It's great. It’s probably the single best thing I've done for my confidence, for my gender identity, my sexual identity, just my identity in general. Because Damo is a part of me, a part I had learnt to suppress through society and family and my own internalised stuff.

Do it. Yeah, do it. Fuck around and find out.

📷: Ash Carey @ashcareyphoto {Image description: Damo is wearing a blue checked shirt and truckers cap. He is posing in front of a large audience and winking at the camera}

Interview by JJ and Piper Loveday

*This interview has been edited for length and clarity